Renee Blare Christian Author

Wonder… what a unique word. Its meaning is dependent on context above all else. It can infer confusion or awe— contemplation or worship, all from the situation around which we find ourselves or our mindset. In truth, it’s a multi-dimensional concept, not merely a word. No wonder we use it to describe the Almighty.

I discovered this concept at a young age…before I could walk or talk. Before I understood wonder in its entirety, if the truth be known. In fact, I would not appreciate its awesome power until eighteen years old when I met my Savior. Now, that was truly wonderful.

But in the beginning and most of my young life, I lived in a perpetual state of confusion and questioning. Wondering…

I was born with untraceable genetic complications and deformities, plagued with mystery diseases and illnesses, both as a child and an adult, needed surgery after surgery for unknown reasons resulting in rare diseases with vague causes— all with little to no treatment or cure.

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I kept the faith. Turned to prayer and devotion to God, loved my Savior, and answered his call to serve faithfully with and in joy no matter the cost, the mockery, disbelief, and/or condemnation by my family, friends, peers, or even the Church.

But I wondered at the behavior. I was angered and raged, but I eventually forgave. Jesus taught me how and why it was better to do so. Although the road did cost relationships, I obeyed the Word, and moved forward with love, amazed at God.

Although I lost all I’d worked for, with His help I began again, wondering at the combination of grief and relief at its passing. If ever to experience a two-edged sword, it would have been losing the ability to work as a pharmacist.

But then came a new day— a new life. Not one of early mornings and long days behind the counter. Saving lives by being the gatekeeper in a world of sin, pain, and fear. All while battling a slowly disintegrating body from within by being abused from the system demanding me to protect others from the same.

And it was on the escalation of my disease— that fateful day, I discovered the sheer wonder of God. Only by the reliance on His awesome power and strength, I am able to survive each second, minute, hour of each day which is now filled with absolute agony. Through prayer and petition, constant intercession by the Holy Spirit to the Father and covering by the blood of Jesus, I can survive my life. A true wonder.

It has only been through this affliction— this agony— that I’ve come to realize Someone knew exactly what I’m going through. I am never alone and I can make it through this unlike so many others who give up. It’s because He has been through even worse pain than me. Jesus Christ. My best friend. He’s a wonderful example to live by.

Most of all? I don’t need to be strong for anybody anymore. The gatekeeper? Jesus is my Protector. I don’t need to hide my feelings, my tears, or fear. I can unload on Him. I can scream or cry and He is big enough to take it.

THAT IS THE WONDER OF GOD.

So if you find yourself wondering about your life and where God is in it. I have an answer. He is EVERYWHERE. If you wonder how I know? Because He knows EVERYTHING and that includes you. Where, what, when, how, and why you are doing whatever it is you are. And the reason He cares and pays attention even if you might not? Is because He made you in His image and He loves you.

Hard to believe I know. Ever wonder why? I have. I have my own theories. But that’s a discussion for another place, another time.

If you ever need to chat or talk, you can catch me on X , Threads, or Facebook.

Remember, Jesus is knocking on your door. Waiting… Will you invite Him in?

In Christ,

Renee

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